Dear 25 year old me..
She was pretty f*cked up...
Turning 45 has hit differently.
Not because I feel older (though perimenopause is trying it). Not because of the number. But because this year I made a decision.
I decided I wasn’t going to drift into 45 — I was going to strut into it, laughing loudly, cheeks aching from smiling, (AF) gin in one hand (optional), and a strong sense of self in the other.
And while yes, I may have danced to cheesy pop at least five times this week, I’ve also sat in some deep reflection. Because 45-year-old me? She’s got wisdom that 25-year-old me couldn’t even comprehend. And 20-year-old me? She was absolutely lost in the sauce.
So I wrote her a letter.
Because if I could go back and whisper one thing to her, it wouldn’t be “don’t worry, it’ll all be okay.” It would be: “You won’t believe the woman you become.”
So here’s the letter I wrote her — from this fabulous, wild, thriving place of turning 45.
Dear 20-year-old me,
I know you look at people who are 45 and think they are old and boring and you dread ever being that age.
I made a pact with myself last year — to make this year my best ever.
To pack it with so much cool stuff.
That you would be both outrageously jealous.
And excited to get to 45 at the same time.
This year, I did a professional photoshoot and I felt like a fecking badass.
I went to Malta with some of my friends and had a lovely time (the first time you go there you will hate it BTW).
I didn’t drink for 111 days (no one is more shocked at this one than me).
AND I did 10 chin ups.
I’m going to the Isle of Wight Festival. -And yes I’m camping. -And yes I know we don’t like camping
I’ve started art classes and I really love it.
I’ve been a bridesmaid in a grown-up dress.
I’ve been on girls' holidays.
I’m going to France for 3 weeks.
I’m going on a business retreat to Portugal.
I help women every day to improve their lives.
I help other coaches to build their businesses so they can help clients improve their lives.
I have a wonderful, kind, caring and considerate son who I have a great relationship with.
My marriage is stronger than ever (yes, we are married).
The best dog in the world.
I have a lovely family,
And the most wonderful friends.
I’m fit, I’m healthy, I’m strong and I am happy in my skin,
Especially since I learnt to fake tan.
I dance to cheese every day.
I’m perimenopausal and proud.
You haven’t had the easiest time, and I am so sorry that there will be more hard times ahead for you.
But I just wanted to let you know — We make it just fine.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
You
xxx
If you’re reading this and you’re dreading the number on your next birthday — please hear this:
Aging isn’t the enemy.
Losing yourself isn’t permanent.
You are allowed to evolve.
And my god, the version of you on the other side of growth? She is fierce.
Turning 45 has felt like a full-circle moment. A chance to honor where I came from, give younger me a squeeze, and carry her forward with pride — but with boundaries and a bit more sass.
And to any woman in midlife reading this who’s feeling a little “meh” about where she’s at:
👉🏼 You’re not stuck.
👉🏼 You’re not behind.
👉🏼 You’re not broken.
You’re becoming.
Here’s to the next chapter. And to always being just a bit of a badass.
Love always,
Chrissie 💖
PS: If you’re ready to start your own reinvention, come join us inside The Mum Boss Method. Because midlife isn’t the end of your story — it’s the start of your most powerful chapter.